I Found my Pot of Gold

So it has been exactly two months to the day since I left Ireland. I have honestly been sitting here thinking of what else to say but the only thing that comes to mind is how numb I feel after having left. It has been so frustrating having people ask if I miss it because a simple 'Yes' does not suffice. I physically CRAVE to be back. People tell me that it won't be the same if/when I go back because study abroad is such a unique experience and I understand that, but what no one seems to grasp is that it wasn't just the friends I made that made my time over there phenomenal...I literally fell in love with the country. The landscape, the history and yes, absolutely the people. And two months ago I had to say goodbye to all of that.

I do need to emphasize that although I want to go back, it has been great being home. When I landed in Boston, it felt like ages trying to get off the plane and getting through customs just so I could see my family. 

When I finally saw my parents on the other side of my five-month long journey and nearly eight hour plane ride I was purely elated. I full on TACKLED them. Forget about when I saw my siblings and my best friend. Such love. Much emotion. 

Fresh off the plane, deranged and looking like an utter knacker

Needless to say I missed my good ol' US of A. But I can't help comparing 'America Bridget' to 'post-Ireland Bridget'. Whilst being abroad, a lot of people back home would tell me that I looked my absolute happiest (and that's saying something because I'm generally a happy person haha). That's because I WAS at my absolute happiest abroad. Prior to my junior year abroad I had never really traveled any where further than New Jersey......GOOD ONE BRIDGET. After Ireland I can say I have traveled to at least four other countries. 

HOLLA FO YO DOLLA HONEY BOO

I was also meeting some of the best people over there. Not to say that America doesn't host nice people, because we do, but I don't know, generally the people I met in Ireland were just living life and were immensely kind. For any Irish friends reading this and who disagree, my apologies, I'm just stating the American point of view!

I also noticed a change in myself. Before travelling I'd say I was a fairly friendly person, easy to talk to but a little reserved. I don't know what happened, but coming back from being abroad, I have one too many stories to tell of meeting random strangers in pubs and just having an absolute ball. From that one time I sang and danced to "Proud Mary" at The Wash with a gaggle of middle-aged women to that time I made friends with the best DJ in the world at the Old Oak. I would come out of pubs with a gang of new-found friends, both old and young, and that would always make the best nights and the best stories to tell...."Hey remember that one night that we danced with that group of Italians to 'Mambo no. 5' like it was our job?!" Just some typical conversation starters.

A few prime examples:

Marvelous people

I think it just goes to show that I learned to be myself and to realize that the best 'me' that I can be is the one where I don't have to prove anything to anyone. In tricky situations I always reminded myself:

BEST MOVIE EVER. GO WATCH IT. RIGHT NOW. TREASURE PLANET.

Well, now that I have made myself sound like an episode of Oprah....haha but in all honesty I feel like I got so much more out of my study abroad experience than I originally thought I would. Yes I got to travel and yes I met a ton of amazing people but I also found a place where I felt the most at home. It sucks and I hate myself for saying this, but getting on that flight home was the hardest thing I've had to do. Taking off from Cork Airport and seeing a place I had come to call 'home' for the past five months turn into a shrinking green island was physically heart-breaking and at the time it felt like a nightmare I was unable to wake up from. I'm not going to say I didn't tear up on the flight because OH I DID. 

It probably didn't help that I ACTIVELY listened to sad music like Mumford & Sons, Ben Howard, sappy Ed Sheeran songs and the song that started it all, 'Timber'. Like really?! Why would I do that to myself....ROOKIE MOVE RIGHT THERE. ROOKIE MOVE. 

As much I wish I could turn the clock and do it all over again.....

I think this is a good lesson in accepting change and that it is ok to move on. Ireland will still be there and as my mom has repeatedly told me, if I work hard enough and if I love it that much, I will find some way to get back there. Although the moving on process is rocky at best right now, it will get better. So for now I will just sit and be bitter that I'm here and not there, I will look at pictures from those five months at the ridiculous situations I got myself into and laugh my ass off, I will miss the amazing friends I made, both Irish and other internationals and I will think about Ireland every damn day.

^^^I'm that asshole^^^

Well, I don't really know how to finish my final post about Ireland.....TOO SOON.....other than compacting my five months into a quick slideshow with some lame music playing in the background haha. Enjoy. 

Forever and always, 

~Bridget B.